


Five Ways That Daniel Jackson Became Part of the SGC, If This Had Happened in a Porn Film

by magickmoons



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: 5 Things, Blow Jobs, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-25
Updated: 2015-03-25
Packaged: 2018-03-19 12:35:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3610317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magickmoons/pseuds/magickmoons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Like the title says...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Ways That Daniel Jackson Became Part of the SGC, If This Had Happened in a Porn Film

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sid/gifts).



> This was written as part of the [Thon for Sid](http://jdjunkie.dreamwidth.org/280460.html). I will always miss her friendship and support. I like to think she would have gotten a kick out of these.

**A. Misunderstanding**

Daniel stood under the awning outside the hotel entrance, watching the gray sheets of rain and trying to decide whether to use the last twenty bucks he had in his wallet for a cab or a meal. Several people brushed by him to be ushered under the doorman's umbrella to a waiting car. One of the men called back, "Waiting for the aliens to beam you up, Dr. Jackson?" A burst of laughter was abruptly shut off as the car door closed and it pulled away to be replaced by another anonymous black sedan.

The doorman waited as the new car discharged its passenger: a tall, utterly handsome man in a Air Force dress blues. Daniel stood and stared as he strode toward the hotel entrance; he'd always had a thing for men in uniform. Often happily followed by a thing with men out of uniform.

He wouldn't normally stare, at least not so obviously, but this man was a very pleasant sight after such a very crappy day, that he allowed himself to get caught up in the fantasy as the man approached. So, it was rather jarring when the man stopped, looked him up and down, and said, "Dr. Jackson? Good, I was worried I might have missed you. Come with me."

The authority in the man's voice was so absolute that Daniel found himself trailing along behind him automatically as he checked in at the desk, and then he continued following him up the elevator, down the hall, and into a rather bland but clean hotel room with a very comfortable looking king bed.

The Air Force officer set his cap down on the desk and unbuttoned his jacket. "Now, then, Dr. Jackson. My name is Colonel Jack O'Neill. And I have a proposition for you."

Daniel interrupted before he could proceed. "Something we couldn't talk about in the bar downstairs?"

The colonel's lips quirked in a half-smile. "What I'm about to say does require a certain level of privacy. I understand that your position in the academic world is -- shall we say less than stable at this point? I'm here to suggest you think about broadening your horizons."

Interesting pitch, Daniel thought, as he looked O'Neill up and down, taking in the no-nonsense military haircut and the strong jawline, the broad shoulders under the blue jacket, slim hips, and long, strong legs. Most guys didn't try to be so subtle, especially not when they looked like O'Neill. Two steps brought him nearly chest to chest with the colonel, and Daniel pulled him in for a hard, fast, dirty kiss. After a moment of surprise -- he must have been expecting Daniel to be a harder sell -- O'Neill's hands were on Daniel's shoulders, supporting Daniel as he walked them back toward the bed, never disengaging from the kiss.

Daniel's legs bumped against the edge of the mattress, and he pulled O'Neill with him as he sank backwards. He groaned in appreciation as the other man settled his weight perfectly, and gladly spread his legs to accommodate O'Neill's hips as he firmly ground down against Daniel's straining cock.

Hands moved quickly to unzip, unbutton, to impatiently push clothing out of the way. Tongues and mouths explored every inch of jaw and neck. Hips rolled and their heavy cocks pushed against each other, as the two moaned and gasped their way to orgasm.

As they lay there, sweaty and sticky, getting their breathing under control, O'Neill chuckled.

Daniel slowly moved his head back far enough to see the man's flushed face. "Something funny?" he asked.

O'Neill grinned. "Well, I was actually here to offer you a job on a top-secret project involving an artifact we originally found in Egypt."

"Huh. I could do that."

"Good. Great." O'Neill looked thoughtful as he slowly petted the soft skin along Daniel's torso. "Of course, they aren't expecting us to report in till the morning..."

 

**B. Delivery**

Daniel looked at the empty sign-in desk and sighed. Figured there wouldn't be anyone here; he'd told his manager that no one at Cheyenne Mountain would be ordering a pizza, for pete's sake. While he was trying to decide what to do, he heard the ding of an elevator. Sidling around the corner, he saw someone walking the opposite way down the corridor and the elevator doors standing open. Looking at the ticket on the pizza, _Cheyenne Mnt Level 21 Infirm_ , he shrugged and jumped into the elevator car just as the doors were closing, and hit the button for 21.

He got a few strange looks as he navigated the monotonously gray hallways looking for the infirmary, but no one stopped him. Secret base, my ass, he grimaced. Then he rounded a corner into a very medical looking room. His attention was immediately captured by the guy bending over to grab his pants -- or more specifically, by his fantastically naked ass. He was dimly aware of the guy muttering about endless physicals being pretty pointless when no one could get the damn thing to work.

Daniel sighed as the fantastic ass was covered, and the man whirled around quickly. His look of suspicion turned to glee. "My pizza!" he cried, heading toward Daniel with his still undone pants sitting low on his hips. Daniel swallowed, trying to find enough moisture to speak.

The man stopped, watching Daniel intently. His smile turned darker, predatory, and he dropped a hand to adjust the crotch of his pants, very distinctly displaying a sizable, and growing, erection. "You like what you see?"

Daniel nodded. The man looked around sneakily. "Damn doctor will be back any second. Follow me."

Daniel followed behind the man ("My name's Jack, by the way.") through the corridors, down a couple of floors, and through some more corridors. They ended up in a room that looked a lot like Daniel's dorm room, packed with books on language and Egypt, but Daniel didn't have time to think about any of that as Jack closed and locked the door behind him. He took the pizza that Daniel was still carrying and set it on a nearby desk, before he pushed his own pants down and stepped out of them.

Afterward, when they were lying on the couch that someone had so thoughtfully placed in this office, and Jack's hand was stroking Daniel's penis, trying to coax it up for round two, Daniel's eyes fell on a photo that had fallen out of a file folder when they'd bumped into the desk earlier.

"Jack," he asked idly, trailing kisses along Jack's collarbone.

"Hmmm?"

Daniel gasped as Jack's hand tightened delightfully around his cock. He went with the distraction for a moment, thrusting into Jack's fist. At this rate, round two was going to arrive in record time. He nipped gently at one of Jack's nipples, and felt Jack shiver in response.

But as wonderful as all that was, he just couldn't shut his mind off. Kissing his way up Jack's neck, he spoke softly near his ear. "Why are there representations of the constellations on that stone ring?"

Jack pulled back and looked at him. Then, he looked at the photo. Then he spent a minute looking back and forth between them. "I'll be..." he finally said. He leaned in and kissed Daniel hard. "You are fucking brilliant. Just keep that thought for a little while. I promise you, we will get back to it," he murmured as he moved down Daniel's body and eagerly licked Daniel's cock. "Just have to do a couple of things first."

 

**C. Allergies**

Jack looked around the coffee shop. It was mostly empty, only one guy sitting nearby -- some long-haired geek who had his nose in a book. Shrugging, he pulled the file folder out of his briefcase. It had been a long couple of days, and he was running late, but maybe he could take just a couple of minutes to sit and enjoy his coffee and read SG-8's report at the same time, before hightailing it to the Mountain for his first meeting of the day.

He hadn't realized that SG-8 had included props with their report -- a sample of the local flora that had kind of crumbled in the folder. He really needed to review proper containment procedures, he thought, and sneezed through the haze of dried green stuff.

The geek looked up and got as far as "Gesun..." before sneezing himself. Jack looked at him, ready to try to figure out if he needed to quarantine the guy, the shop, the whole damn block, when he was suddenly hit with an overwhelming surge of lust. His dick was painfully hard, and he found himself undoing his fly, pulling his cock out, stuttering a moan of relief. From the corner of his eye, he could see the geek was on his feet, no longer sneezing, and heading for Jack's table.

Next thing he knew, the geek was straddling Jack, his own pants having somehow magically disappeared. Long fingers closed around both their cocks, tugging and squeezing. Jack groaned, pulled between the utter bliss of being touched like this for the first time in ages, and the need to Come. Right. Now. Dammit!

"Don't stop," he panted.

The geek leaned down and sucked Jack's tongue into mouth, playing with it, drinking him in. He pulled back just long enough to add, "Never stop," then went back to fucking Jack's mouth with his tongue.

Dimly, Jack was aware of the barista standing a few feet away staring at them. He pulled back from the geek's truly amazing tongue, and took a deep enough breath to say, "You're closed. Don't touch the table." Keeping one hand on the geek's naked back -- where had his shirt gone? -- he dug the other hand into the the pocket of his pants where they were bunched around his thighs. Pulling out his wallet, he tossed it to the gobsmacked barista. "Business card. Call. Tell them emergency procedure. Then close the blinds and lock yourself in the back."

He didn't listen past then, frankly didn't care if the whole world saw what was happening, as he somehow pushed the geek back onto the -- wow, really well-built -- table, and Jack's cock slid into him like he was coming home. 

By the time the SFs and infirmary staff arrived, they were on their third orgasms and still going strong. By the time they had both revived from the tranquilizer darts, the antidote had been discovered and administered. Although Jack had a kind of hard time believing that, when just looking at Dr. Daniel Jackson, archaeologist, anthropologist, and Jack's 0800 interview, still sent shivers of lust through him.

He watched Daniel's small smile as he extended his hand, "Good to meet you, Colonel."

"Welcome to the team, Dr. Jackson. Let me, uh, show you to your office." 

Daniel licked his lips and nodded. "Lead the way."

 

**D. Going Away Party**

Jack moaned as Daniel slowly sucked Jack's cock into his mouth. He'd always heard good things about this agency, and Daniel was living up to each and every one of them. 

"Fuck, yeah," Jack whispered. "Harder."

Daniel obliged, making a tight seal with his lips and hollowing his cheeks. Jack was so close, then Daniel pulled back, tongue trailing along Jack's length before moving lower to caress his balls.

"Tease," Jack chided good-naturedly. Daniel looked up toward Jack, his eyes twinkling. Jack had no objection to drawing this out; for all he knew, this was his last night on Earth. Tomorrow, they were going through that Doorway to Heaven thing and who knew what would happen after that.

His phone and he groped for it. "Don't stop," he ordered Daniel. "But don't, you know, step it up too much, either."

He answered the phone, listening to General West's irritated voice. 

"So what if Myers backed out," Jack responded. "We don't really need him, right?"

Daniel pulled back as the general's next diatribe took care of whatever was left of Jack's erection. He slipped onto the couch and curled up beside Jack, one hand gentling cradling Jack's dick. Jack snapped the phone shut and growled in frustration.

"Anything I can do to help?" Daniel offered.

"Not unless you happen to know an outside-the-box thinking archaeologist with a beyond-normal familiarity with ancient Egyptian culture."

Daniel smirked. "Well, since you mention it..."

 

**E. Those Crazy Off-World Rituals**

"Doesn't anybody speak English?" Jack yelled. He turned to Carter and Teal'c. "We really need to get a translator of some sort on the team." They stood in the middle of a circle of tents being watched by some very suspicious villagers with very pointy spears.

"I believe I can help you." The voice came from the far side of the camp-site, and belonged to a tall, lean, very good-looking man who was dressed much as the natives were, with the exception of a pair of broken glass perched across his nose.

"My name's Daniel Jackson. And you are?"

Jack introduced himself and his team. When he identified their homeworld as Earth, Daniel's eyes lit up. "Earth. Wow. I didn't think I'd ever see anybody from there again."

"You've met someone from Earth before?" Sam asked.

Daniel stopped short. "No," he answered slowly. "I'm from Earth."

"And how did you end up here?" Jack asked suspiciously. 

"Oh, well, there was an accident, and I was kind of dying, and this, well I'll call her a woman, but glowly squid-like creature might work just as well... Anyway, she helped me to ascend to a higher plane of existence instead of dying. But the trouble with ascending is there are an awful lot of rules you're supposed to follow, and I guess I didn't do a great job of that, so they kind of dumped me here."

"Friendly people?" Jack asked, eyeing the spears carefully.

"Oh yeah. Kind of solitary though. They don't much like outsiders."

Jack nodded. "Okay, so, we'll just be going, and they -- you -- can go on with that solitary existence."

Daniel looked around and said something to the natives in their language. As they answered, he listened with one ear while speaking to SG-1. "I'd kind of like to go with you, if that's okay. There's not a lot to really keep me busy around here." Jack was about to nod his agreement, when Daniel's face fell and he said, "Oh."

"Oh?'" Jack questioned.

"Well, it seems like they want a proof of your trustworthiness."

"My word not good enough?"

Daniel shook his head. "It's actually just a little ritual, by which you would be brought into the tribe."

"What kind of ritual?"

"I did it, when I first arrived."

"Okay, great, what kind of ritual?"

Daniel smiled briefly, as he pointed toward the largest tent. "Oh, I think you'll probably find it fairly enjoyable, Jack."

Some time later, with a gentle murmur, the village elder smiled approvingly at Jack and Daniel where they lay against the soft animal-skin rugs. He left the tent, and Jack could hear him speak to the other villagers.

Daniel spoke without lifting his head from Jack's chest. "So, you passed. Obviously," he added with a chuckle. "You and your friends can go home now."

Jack tightened his arm around Daniel's back. "Sounds good."

"And me?" Daniel prompted.

Jack pressed a kiss against Daniel's hair. "Oh yeah, you too."

Daniel looked up smiling. "Yeah?"

Jack shrugged. "Yeah, well, you seem to be pretty good with languages, you know. It'd be a shame to waste that talent. Or... others."

"A real shame," Daniel agreed, tilting his head up toward Jack, neither noticing the slight movement at the tent flap.

Sam looked up as Teal'c slowly closed the flap. He inclined his head toward her. "It appears that they need some additional time to recover from the ritual. Let us wait over there."

He led her to a small series of tree stumps, looking back at the tent with a small smile. 

~ends~


End file.
